Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
