Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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