i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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