he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My ass is underappreciated
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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