i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
