I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
