I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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