making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize