Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
