Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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