We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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