He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
