Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
