she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
