I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize