Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
