who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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