dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
