i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
