I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
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Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I smell like Dick and happiness
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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