I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
