I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
