Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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