I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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