good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
