He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
