we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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