i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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