I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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