Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
