ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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