Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Can I color on your dick again?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
