Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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