Plan B is the new Plan A
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
