This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
