and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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