shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
