I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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