Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
