He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
