the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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