But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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