He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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