And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
