Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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