i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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