Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
