I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
