Pants 0. Shit 1.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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