I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
