ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
