new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
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Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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