Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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