She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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