I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
