Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
