dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
