I will die if light touches me.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Girls should come with a carfax report
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
