Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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